The Mic'd Up & Motivated Podcast
Tune into The Mic'd Up & Motivated Podcast every month, where internationally recognized youth motivational speaker Jason A. Dixon spotlights passionate professionals committed to empowering young people and creating positive change within families, schools, communities, and organizations. Each episode features in-depth interviews with educators, speakers, coaches, youth leaders, changemakers, and other notable individuals. Discover insightful conversations, gain practical strategies, and hear inspiring stories that will motivate and elevate your potential to impact young people and the caring adults in their lives.
The Mic'd Up & Motivated Podcast
From Childhood Trauma to Empowering Others: Chelsea Miller's Story
What happens when we heal the wounded child within us? For Chelsea Miller, inner child coach and trauma healer, this question isn't theoretical—it's the foundation of profound personal and generational transformation.
Chelsea's story begins with a childhood marked by emotional neglect, teenage parents struggling with poverty, and the heavy responsibility of becoming a parental figure to her siblings at a young age. "I was more of a parent to them than a sibling," she shares. This early experience taught her to suppress her needs and make herself "small and least burdensome" to receive love, patterns that would follow her into adulthood.
The perfectionism she developed led to a 4.0 GPA in high school but eventually manifested as debilitating anxiety and panic attacks. When the pressure became too much, she crashed in college, an experience that carried deep shame but ultimately became the catalyst for her healing journey. Through her work as a professional nanny, Chelsea discovered something remarkable: giving children the nurturing presence and care she never received was profoundly healing for her own inner child.
This discovery evolved into her current work helping adults heal from childhood trauma by reconnecting with and "reparenting" their inner children. The process involves identifying emotions in the body, pinpointing memories where limiting beliefs formed, and imaginatively providing that child-self with the comfort and reassurance they needed but didn't receive. "We're going to rewrite those messages and help, encourage, and heal that so they can take that and bring it back into themselves," Chelsea explains.
For parents struggling with consistency or effectiveness, Chelsea offers a powerful perspective: before focusing on parenting techniques, it's essential to heal your own inner wounds. "If you're lost and confused and a mess in here, how can you expect them to feel strong and secure in who they are?" This work creates ripples that extend beyond individual healing to transform how we raise the next generation.
Ready to explore your healing journey? Connect with Chelsea on social media @ChelseaMillerCoaching or join her "Healing Haven" community for daily inspiration on reclaiming your authentic self and creating the life you deserve.
I know, you know, I, you know tangibly know how to help raise kids, because I really essentially did. Both of my siblings tell me all the time that I was more of a parent to them than a sibling, which is highly accurate, and so I knew, like, the skills to be able to help raise kids, but there was also, like this natural outpour of like I never got these things. I want to make sure that no kid experiences what I did.
Speaker 2:I want them to experience the love, the nurture, the care the showing up, the presence, and in that it was healing for me at the same time. Welcome to the Mic'd Up and Motivated podcast, where we interview passionate professionals who empower young people, impact lives and create positive change in schools, organizations and communities.
Speaker 3:Everybody in here has a talent and you have a gift and you were given that gift so that you can go change the world.
Speaker 1:Hi, I'm Chelsea Miller. With Chelsea Miller Coaching, I'm an inner child coach, an encouragement consultant, trainer and a trauma healer. I specialize in helping millennial women break free from emotional baggage of toxic, emotionally immature or narcissistic upbringings. Through a blend of coaching, education and some spiritual tools, I support clients in healing their inner child, setting boundaries, reconnecting with their true selves and creating lives that feel safe, fulfilling and aligned. I also train and certify other coaches in my encouragement-based method, empowering them to bring this work into their own communities.
Speaker 3:Chelsea Miller, how you doing today.
Speaker 1:I'm great thanks. How are you, jason?
Speaker 3:I'm doing great. I'm doing so great. It is so awesome to have you on the podcast and I was telling you before we got on and started recording our podcast how much I've followed you and kind of admired you from afar with all that you do, and so I'm excited about this interview and excited to get to know more about what you do. So first of all, tell me how things have been going Like. How's life been for you so far in 2025?
Speaker 1:2025 is full of a lot of transitions.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, it's a big word. I've been hearing that a lot from a lot of people.
Speaker 1:Lots of big pivots, lots of transitions, lots of shedding and stepping into new things, rebirthing. So it's been a wild but very, very exciting year so far.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm looking forward to hearing more about that and, like I said, I've been hearing that word, that word transition, from a lot of my friends, a lot of people in the industry, a lot of professionals, and that word transition. And for you, what do you think the word transition has meant for you? Like, has there been, like transitions professionally, in your personal life? Just what kind of? What kind of transitions?
Speaker 1:Oh, that is a loaded question. So yes to all of that. Yeah, I'm actually walking through a divorce right now, so that is a big transition. I have two small children, so that includes co parenting and figuring things out in this space of how to live this new life and shedding the old stuff and what am I stepping into.
Speaker 1:But that's also given me this opportunity to really dig in deeper to who I am to at the same time and it's like, okay, what have I been doing that isn't working so far and what am I looking forward to in the future? Like, what changes would I like to make? What do I want this, how do I want this to serve me and how do I want to heal in this and how do I want to open up my own like awareness and consciousness, and level up in this space and digging into all that hard, messy stuff, and so that obviously translates into the work that I'm doing as well.
Speaker 3:so, wow, wow, thank you a lot. Yeah, yeah, that is a lot, but I love how you were just able to share that. You know, just be open and vulnerable and for our listeners, I just we. I know we kind of dove in deep right off the bat and this but this is how amazing of a person you are, you know. You just kind of took that question and say and then just say you know what, I'm going to lay it on the line, I'm to be transparent, I'm going through this, I'm going through that, and so I really appreciate that. I'm sure that's something the people you work with, which we're going to talk about, what you do professionally, the people you work with, I'm sure that's something they gravitate towards. Do you think there's being that open about things?
Speaker 1:It is I think it's Brene Brown who says like vulnerability breeds vulnerability. Like I can't expect people to come to me with their hard, dark, messy things if I'm not also showing up and doing the same because, it creates that container of safety of like me too it's.
Speaker 1:I know what this is like because I've walked through it, and so if I'm not showing up and living in that like that space of authenticity fully and showing up as this version of myself, and how do I expect other people to have the courage and bravery to step into that too?
Speaker 3:Yeah, wow, that is so awesome. I'm just going to say this right now I'm so glad that we had a chance to connect and and and meet. And it's like just hearing you talk the first few minutes. I'm like, and it's like just hearing you talk the first few minutes, I'm like she's the real deal. She is legit, she's the real deal Really, seriously. I mean, I applaud you, so talk to me about your journey professionally. How did you, did you find yourself doing what you're doing today?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's another really great question, thank you. So actually my background is in childcare. I was a professional nanny for 10 years. That's where I started From there. I launched a nanny placement agency here locally where I was helping match nannies with families, and so in that space I got certified to become a parent coach because I wanted to make sure that all of my nannies were trained, like on the same level that they all had, like that I wanted to make sure they were fully equipped to do the work that you know they were being hired to do. And so through that I found this community of people who were learning about positive discipline, about, like, being kind and firm, about being mutually respectful, about raising a new generation of children. And that's where I found what I do now, which is the inner child coaching, the encouragement, consulting, which basically is reparenting your own inner child in order to match those same values, because so many of us, as parents or caregivers or whoever just adults in general, are just constantly walking around being triggered by our childhoods.
Speaker 1:And so it's like this twofold space of like. We're raising a new generation of people and we want them to have, you know, these empowered life skills and be able to walk into the world and be changemakers without all of that heavy baggage. But we, as adults, are, you know, we were traumatized, we were raised in toxic environments, most of us, and we've got all of these mistaken beliefs and core beliefs about ourselves and about the world that, just like, weigh us down. And so, in order to create the new generation, we also have to heal ourselves at the same time, so that we can meet them where they need to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, okay, okay In a long-winded way I started in child care, and now I'm doing, I'm essentially doing the inner child of the adults.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, no that that the long-winded answer is great, because the more detail, the more it helps me. And I'm just going to say right now, I'm kind of starstruck, I'm listening to you talk about this and I'm I'm thinking to myself okay, this is going to be an interview, but this is also going to kind of be a coaching session. You're going to walk me through some things, You're going to gentle parent me through some things to help me, Cause I'm going to have some questions that are need help with personally.
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely, we all do we all do, yeah, but I love what you said about that and I love what you do and how you came upon this, and I want to know, like so, when you tell people what you do, what's the general reaction that you get? Like, what's the typical reaction that you get?
Speaker 1:So I start with the inner child coach and I get a lot of really confused faces. That's fair, that's totally fair. But then I usually say something along the lines of it's kind of like therapy, but I can't diagnose anything Because really it's in that same space of being a mental health professional and advocate. I'm not a licensed mental health professional, but it's in the same space, and so that is something that's more like tangible that they can understand. And then I might sort of get more into like the details of like okay, well, really I'm dealing with a lot of like rewriting our childhood beliefs. That's. That's really essentially what we're doing. So, whether it was traumatic, little T or big T, traumas, we've all got them and we all have these beliefs about ourselves or the world that are just mistaken. That's all they are. They're not wrong, they're not bad, they're just mistaken.
Speaker 1:So being able to rewrite those and so being able to explain that to people in a way they understand is usually in that like therapy, counseling space.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, that's so amazing. Ok, all right, chelsea. So let's go back. Let's go back to your childhood. Talk to me about that. Talk to me about what what 10 year old Chelsea was like, 12 year old Chelsea was like. Talk to me about her.
Speaker 1:That is a really good question, so I'm going to take it back even a little further for you.
Speaker 1:There's so much background there that is rich and very important to all of this. So I had teen parents they were 19 years old, totally poverty stricken families. So no help, no support. We moved around a lot a lot of generational curses, a lot of traumatic environments, a lot of quote unquote like abusive tendencies that are just passed down generationally but you know, they weren't really consciously aware of that was traumatic or abusive. And so, like most of us, we just absorbed all of those things the you're a child, so you should be seen and not heard. You're a lady, so you should be polite and quiet and a people pleaser, and those kinds of things. And so that was really like the environment of growing up was.
Speaker 1:I had 19 year old parents who didn't really know what they're doing. Not that any of us as parents know what they're doing, but at 19, it makes it a lot harder. And so we went through just years of this like storm of messiness and so, um, that really laid that foundation of like, okay, this is, this is a lot of things, and it's any time. Anything under the age of seven is when you're really just like that sponge and you're soaking everything, things, and it's. Anything under the age of seven is when you're really just like that sponge and you're soaking everything up and so I'm just soaking up all of that traumatic environment and so, yes, by the time I was 10, 12, I was still my inner child, was happy and creative and free, and I'm a Sagittarius, so I am a total free spirit. I love freedom and learning and knowledge and love and passion, and all of the things.
Speaker 1:I want my hands in everything.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but there was also that sense of like I have to be a good student, I have to be quiet, I have to be seen and not heard. I have to. There was a lot of like emotional neglect growing up for me. It was not a lot of physical, there was a lot of like emotional neglect growing up for me. It was not a lot of physical, it was a lot of like you're just going to go in your room and you're going to stay there and be quiet because your existence is a burden to the family, and so it's like this okay, I'm just going to keep to myself, I'll just entertain myself, I'll make my needs very small, and that is how I will show them that I'm worthy of their love. And so that's how a lot of us operate is, I will be quiet and small and as least burdensome as I can be in order to survive and get love and acceptance. And so I was creative and fun and sweet, but I was also suppressing all of my muchness and trying to make it as small as I possibly could.
Speaker 1:So 10, 12 year old Chelsea had experienced a lot of things already at that point.
Speaker 1:Um, I had a family member who had um an alive to herself, and we took on her three children, and so we suddenly went from a family of two children to five children and they had a lot of um, of concerns and a lot of like.
Speaker 1:They brought a lot into our family and they had a lot of things that needed to be dealt with in an environment where they had lost both parents, and so we had experienced that as a family. And then my parents split up after that and then my parents got remarried after that and there was a lot of like just big breaks and a lot of big traumas. On top of all of like, the me being the oldest child by six years and having to feel like I'm responsible for everything and it's my job to keep the peace and it's my job to show up and be the best that I absolutely can be so that they can show me off. Look at what a good job we're doing as parents. Because she is doing such a great job, and so 10, 12-year-old Chelsea had a lot, but she was also very beautiful and very vibrant and I love connecting with her because she's so much fun and when.
Speaker 1:I'm really needing to connect to my joy centers. That's where I go to is the space of creativity and the fun and the liveliness yeah, wow, that's awesome.
Speaker 3:Thank you for sharing that. Just so many layers that you you uncovered, I mean, and I mean that's that's why I love you know, hearing about what you do right, and so many of us as adults, we don't get to unpack all of those things, we just carry around the baggage. And you being able to do that and reframe it is awesome and I'm sure it's a big part of your journey. Now, you said you were the oldest. The oldest of how many?
Speaker 1:That's very messy. So technically, the oldest of four. At one point. We had my three cousins as well. So if you count that there's three more. So it's sort of like I've I'm one of four, but also one of seven.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, no, that's okay, but I'm the oldest.
Speaker 1:I'm the big blended mixed family and I'm the oldest regardless.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's the most important factor there. So, as a child going through and let me preface this by saying I work with a lot of youth as well and I see so much of this taking place within their lives when they're going through the messiness of their family stuff but as a child, as you were going through different things and going through the ebbs and flows of just childhood, was there ever a point where you were like I don't know, is this how life is supposed to look, especially when you look at it through the lens of how other kids are living? Did you ever ask yourself that question, like, is this really how life is supposed to be?
Speaker 1:That is another great question. I'm going to be honest Like most people, I didn't start asking those questions until I was an adult. I was in my twenties where I started to look around and I'm like wait a minute. I started comparing my life and my experiences to others and my relationships with my family members individually and I'm like, oh, wait a minute, this wasn't normal, even though I was like built to believe that it was yeah it really actually wasn't, and I was in my early 20s before I started to sort of like safely unpack those things and realize that this was not normal.
Speaker 1:So, in addition to all of that, my mother also has some really deeply rooted I'm not going to throw out a diagnosis, because that not fair, but we'll just say emotional immaturity for the sake of public purposes.
Speaker 1:But she has a lot of deep issues and so I haven't spoken to her in over 11 years and it was this like I was not allowed to be my own person. I was like trained and raised to be this like extension of her, and so I did not even think I was allowed to ask those kinds of questions to myself growing up until I was an adult and I was like, oh wait, I'm a separate person from her, I'm allowed to, I'm allowed to be my own person, but I'm allowed to ask these kinds of questions. And so, yeah, I didn't think that I was allowed to ask these kinds of questions. And so, yeah, I didn't think that I was allowed to ask those kinds of questions. And I was so connected and enmeshed and codependent with her growing up that I just I couldn't even see past what we had, in order to even think, the possibility of asking myself a question like that.
Speaker 3:No, yeah, I can relate to that so much. And then so many of the young people I work with can relate to that, I'm sure. If, like they could hear what you just said, it was snapping their fingers, clapping like, oh yeah, girl, you tell it. That's so real and so many people go through that. And, like you said, we don't ask those questions until we get to an adult age and we look back and reflect and it's like, okay, yeah, that was not, that wasn't normal, but we normalized it Right.
Speaker 1:Um, and it's how we survived, like if we start to question at a young age, when we're 12 or 14, is this normal? If I would have started to deconstruct those things at 14, in a space where I couldn't have escaped a family life that was sort of toxic, but not necessarily abusive, I wouldn't have survived the way that I did as an adult, because you can't get away.
Speaker 1:You don't know how to set boundaries at 14 or 10, or however old it is, and so it's safer for survival purposes and those spaces to sort of just take it sometimes. And that's why we, why we don't ask those questions, because if we did, things would unravel, and then what would we do? We're children, we can't escape our situations yeah, no, yeah, I love that.
Speaker 3:I want to. I want to touch on that really quickly, but I have a question. Yeah, that I you kind of you kind of referenced it, you alluded to it, uh. But so what was it that helped you survive? Did you have people who? Did you play sports? Were you involved in extracurricular activities? What was it that helped you make it through the messiness of what you went through as a kid? I did musicals and show choir and all those and that was my escape.
Speaker 1:That was like the place that I could go to and actually be my own person outside of my family or whatever was going on. I had a safe, supportive community in that and it was an outlet too.
Speaker 1:And then, if you get even deeper into it, music is soothing for your nervous systems and it's releasing and there's all kinds of beautiful benefits and holistic healing benefits to music and singing and all and dancing and movement, and so I can see now why that was so helpful for me, but also the community that I was able to build in those spaces. But um, for me it was music. That was my escape of how I was able to survive and let out all of the things without even realizing that I was doing it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. So were you a vocalist? Did you play instruments Like what was your lane musically?
Speaker 3:I was a singer oh wow Okay, I did choir and theater and I did some competitions with, like barbershop quartets and those kinds of things, but it was, it was vocals nice, I'm gonna have to ask no, I'm not gonna put you if you, if you're feeling in your bones throughout this podcast, you want to just sing something like and a little side note, this is, this is how nerdy I am, like the other day there we go, there, we. I love nerds. I tell the young people yeah, I'm nerdy, but I make it look cool. I do it with all of them. Right, I'm swag with my nerdiness.
Speaker 3:I love that.
Speaker 3:Yeah so that's how I reframe it. It's all about the reframing, right? So I was working the other day and I listened to my playlist and whatnot and I get sidetracked a lot. So I stopped working. And I was working the other day and I listened to my playlist and whatnot and I get sidetracked a lot. So I stopped working and I was like and I was singing to a particular song.
Speaker 3:I'm like I want to know how to sing. You know I sing all the time, but I know I can't sing. People have told me I can't sing and so I just started Googling, like, can people learn how to sing or is it a natural? Like, is it a natural? Like is it a natural gift? And like, for the next hour, I'm just googling, like how to sing and like trying to self, like, self-teach myself. You know the, the singing, and it was like it was just a I went down a weird rabbit trail but like that's just the nerdiness in me and I'm like, okay, I'm never to be a singer, why am I doing this? So like, does someone who actually can sing like what is it like being able to have that gift, that talent? Because, like, really, I wish I could do that.
Speaker 1:And you could. That's the thing. It's just like any other talent or skill you know it's like okay, I don't know how to play basketball, but if I really put in the time and effort and energy, like. I could do it and I could learn it as a skill. And sure, some people are more naturally like gifted in one area or another, but you can always put in the effort to learn how to do something, and it's no different with singing.
Speaker 3:Oh wow, see, now you just kind of lit the fire back up. Now, after I finished this podcast, I'm going to go back to researching how I was hoping you didn't do that. I was hoping you would kind of kill that dream right now, like no, jason you're not a singer.
Speaker 1:I'm not a dream killer, jason, that's not. No, you're not.
Speaker 3:You're not. That would go against everything that you stand for.
Speaker 1:And I say if you want to sing, you go for it, whether you're good at it or not, If you find joy in it, that is what matters.
Speaker 3:There you go. I love that.
Speaker 1:A four-year-old out there with no pitch or tune or anything can go out there and still do it and love it and kill it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Now see, I'm going to hit you up Now you're going to become my vocal coach. You're going to teach me. Forget the Googling stuff. If I got somebody in real life that can help me, that's the person right there. But I appreciate that. I appreciate that and just the positivity. So I want to go here, so we're talking a little bit about your journey and I want to go to this point because this is my favorite demographic to work with, and I want to go to this point because this is my favorite demographic to work with teenagers and young adults. So, going through the childhood and all the things that you had to deal with family-wise, now you're getting to the young adult years and tell me a little bit about the high school, college, and how you start to take shape and your life starts to take shape. Take us back to that time.
Speaker 1:Take shape and your life starts to take shape. Take us back to that time. So, high school, I was the 4.0 student because I was trying to perform and be a trophy and do my absolute best so that people could show me off, basically, and so I killed myself to get those grades. I mean, most of it came naturally through intelligence, but it also was a lot of effort and energy in order to do that, and so I was exhausted all the time. And I think it was my senior year where I started just like having these episodes. Where I was I didn't realize it at the time, but it was panic I was having such deep panic attacks that I was passing out like in the middle of the hallways. I was like like just falling in the hallways and crying and not being able to like come up with assignments, but I still was like putting so much, so much pressure on myself to perform and be the absolute best that I could be, and it was. It was essentially killing me from the inside out and my body was starting to talk to me and tell me hey, something is not right here. And everyone just sort of brushed it aside. And you know we looked into it medically and all that. But it was like nobody told me that it was anxiety, nobody told me that it was undiagnosed ADHD, no one told me it was CPTSD, nobody told me that I was crushing myself and just trying to be the best that I could. And also I wasn't allowed to talk about those things either. There were no safe spaces at the time for me to say, hey, this is actually really hard for me, this doesn't come as easy for me as I make it look, I'm struggling. I was expected to excel at it and be good at it easily, and so there was nowhere for me to share those things, and it wasn't as common then either as it might be now. I know that teens now struggle with a lot as well, and so it's like there just weren't safe spaces, it wasn't as open to share about your feelings, and it was like this is just the expectation.
Speaker 1:And so by the time I graduated high school and jumped into college, I had completely crashed. I was, I went from this 4.0 completely like put together high school student who had so much potential and so much expectation put on me and also the fact that you know I was the oldest, I was, you know this highly intelligent person. So my family put a lot of expectation in me to be the first to graduate college, to be the first to like pull us out of this poverty space, and so there was a lot of pressure. And so I got to college, didn't know what the heck I was doing, all of a sudden had to worry about not only grades, but now I have to learn how to like live on my own and have a job and pay for things, and it crushed me, and so I failed out of my first year of college and did not really go back. I kind of like dabbled here and there, and that crushed me.
Speaker 1:I carried so much shame over that for such a long time because I thought there was something inherently wrong with me. Why, like how could I have possibly fumbled that so badly when I was smart enough and should have been able to just do it? And now I've obviously worked through that and processed it and realized, like, what was actually happening and how big that was. But at the time, like my early, that early like college age, that was a really, really difficult time for me. And then that was also the point where I started to like piece things together with like my parents and like my childhood of like, oh wait, maybe this was not okay and things just started to completely unravel and I'm glad they did, because that's where you find like the really good stuff but at the time it was like my whole world fell apart yeah, yeah, and this was in college where, or that, that age where it's like the, the crash out started to happen, right, yeah, and so how did you?
Speaker 3:again? Because I know so many people, I know so many young people, especially especially college age right now, and even friends that I've had that I have with that point was like, okay, when they experienced that they didn't rebound, they didn't come back from it. It was like it was just a downward spiral from there. So how did you come back from that?
Speaker 1:So I caught myself in my nannying career. So I caught myself in my nannying career so because I wasn't in college and I was just like. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life now, because this is all that I've ever worked for my entire life was this. And now I don't have that. And so what do I do? And so nannying is what caught me.
Speaker 1:I started working with kids and falling in love with life again and enjoying like being in their space and having fun doing childhood things that I didn't really get to do because of the environments that I grew up in, and so I got to be a kid again, growing up and helping raise other generations. And that is really what saved me and caught me from totally like not rebounding.
Speaker 3:Wow, and so how long did you do nannying?
Speaker 1:I did that for 10 years.
Speaker 3:Okay, Okay, so talk a little bit about how. What was it about? I know you alluded to it again, but what was it specifically about nannying and finding your niche net that you felt you feel like it kind of freed you to to and opened your you up to another, another area of your life?
Speaker 1:so very often um people like me and others who grow up in like these traumatic childhoods and experiences.
Speaker 1:We find ourselves giving other people the things that we never got yeah, and so for me it was nurturing, it was attention, it presence, and so for me I found myself just this outpouring of love and nurture and care for other human beings which really I always had growing up. If I look back, I mean I was the oldest sibling. I know, you know I, you know tangibly know how to help raise kids, because I really essentially did Both of my siblings tell me all the time that I was more of a parent to them than a sibling, which is highly accurate, and so I knew, like, the skills to be able to help raise kids. But there was also, like, this natural outpour of like I never got these things. I want to make sure that no kid experiences what I did. I want them to experience the love, the nurture, the care, the showing up, the presence, and in that it was healing for me at the same time to be,
Speaker 1:able to give that and see it and see them receive it and see like all those good beautiful things that maybe I didn't get. But like having an acceptance about that of like, okay, I didn't get this and that was hard, that sucks, but I accept that I didn't get that and I can see that I'm so capable of giving it to others and what a beautiful like gift it is for them to receive it at the same time. And so you know it was fun doing like the zoo trips and the parks and you know let's do this fun craft and those things were healing for my inner child too. But really it was more about like that nurturing, loving presence and that connection and relationship that you get to build with them.
Speaker 3:Wow, that's awesome.
Speaker 1:And it takes the pressure off not being the parent.
Speaker 3:Now I'm a parent of two so it's like totally different. Yeah right, I wish I could go back to being an auntie.
Speaker 1:Yes, right, but it's like being able to give that in a space without all the pressure of being a parent. It was like I got to be your mentor and your friend and your guide and also, like you know, a parental figure of sorts. But like, really we're here for the fun, I was there for the fun and that it like that was just so, so important to be able to be there for that space.
Speaker 2:So you are listening to the Mic'd Up and Motivated podcast presented by Inspire to Reach Higher to reach higher.
Speaker 3:All right, welcome back to the Mic'd Up and Motivated podcast. I'm your host, jason A Dixon, and I've been talking to the amazing Chelsea Miller and she has been just telling us about this amazing journey she's been on. And Chelsea, again, we were talking off air. I got to share this. Okay, I was talking about how we have never met Like and we're both from the same city, from Toledo and like how we've never met but like being able to like, connect with you and talk to you on this podcast, like I feel like I've known you forever.
Speaker 1:Right, I've known you forever, yeah it feels like friends, absolutely I know.
Speaker 3:So just hearing your story and hearing about how, all the things that you overcame and how you got to this point and we left off talking about your nannying career and how that shift for you helped you. So talk about when you felt like it was time to move on from nannying and what that transition was like.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's another great question. So the end of my nannying career was not necessarily a choice. It came with COVID. That was my last year. So in 2016, I launched a nanny placement agency because I was like, okay, I love nannying, but I also was in that space where like, okay, I failed college, that didn't work out. I failed college again. That didn't work out.
Speaker 1:So what? Like I know that I'm meant for more, I know that I have all this potential, but I don't know what to do with it. And so I'm like, okay, we'll do what you know. Then what I know is nannying. What I know is coming into people's homes and being this professional helping raise this new generation of kids and being helpful to parents who are working and trying to put food on the table. And you know, impact communities through their work and still be parents at the same time. That this is what I know how to do. And so that's when I was like pulling ideas, and so I came up with the Nanny Placement Agency, and so I was like this feels like a really good place for me to be of, like I'm offering something to the community and making a difference. I'm giving people things that they need and still making a really big impact, because the nannies that I place in people's homes are helping raise new generations.
Speaker 1:And so for me, it was vastly important for me to be able to make sure that they were imparting the really important things that I would also want to be giving in my own nanny families.
Speaker 1:I want to be able to essentially like duplicate myself in these homes and make sure that these families are getting this full quality experience and these kids are getting this love, nurturing connection and, you know, discipline, not punishment, but this discipline and this being raised in a certain specific way where, like their thoughts and their feelings and all of their, all of the things are valuable, all of the things are valuable. And like I just felt like this generation of kids needed this, and so how can I give that in more spaces? And so to me that was like a big piece of why I started that agency. It was I want to make a difference here and I want to impart all of these values and skills, and so the best way to do that is, to make sure that they're all certified in the same thing that I am.
Speaker 1:Which was that positive discipline? So that is that was yeah. So, yeah, that's, that was where I went from. There was the nanny to the agency to like, okay, well, how can I do this for more families?
Speaker 3:Yeah, okay, I read this, this ripple effect of what I'm doing yeah, yeah, and I so, as you're telling me this, your journey and this and how you had to pivot, and I just get this picture of like somebody who's like being knocked down, but like it was just this resilience, like you just keep getting back up and when people think that you're done, they count you out. It's like, oh, tell us you're coming back, like she's not stopping, she's going to keep going, like just the grit and the grind that's still within you. I love that. I love that. So talk to me about how it's been going. You know how it's been going. Has there been any challenges for you? What?
Speaker 3:what has been like the toughest part of of of that Um, of having grit, or where I'm at now, when you're at now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, yes. So COVID was a hard hit, so that knocked out the agency, um, and that ended my nanny career. I also became a mom of two, so I had two kids and trying to do all the things, it just wasn't working. And so that's where I found where I do now this inner child coaching, and that hit me so hard, where I was like I want to spend my life doing this, I want to help heal other people. And I had gone back and dealt with all of those things that we've talked about and came out the other side of this a completely different person, and I was like how can I not reach back and help everybody?
Speaker 1:else because this was so powerful and so impactful and it also creates that ripple effect that I'm looking for, and so the pivots that I experience and the resilience that I have each time is what always ends up getting me to that place where I know that I'm supposed to be, and each time gets me to like that new level.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I've seen a lot of like these knockdown moments, but each time I know that it's really just sort of redirecting me and helping me get to a different space that I may not have come to on my own yeah, yeah, that's so amazing to be able to kind of see it from that perspective.
Speaker 3:So let's talk a little bit about now, what you're doing now and the work that you do with parents. Let's start there. I can attest to this also. I work with teens and young adults, but I tell people I'm also working with parents. I'm also working with coaches and teachers the people that are connected to those young people. So what are the biggest things that you see right now that parents are struggling with when it comes to their young people, their kids? If you could pinpoint or boil it down to a few things.
Speaker 1:Oh so the struggles, especially parents, of like the teens and stuff. I mean there's the obvious things like the technology and just like the the like world environment that we have right now. That's an obvious one. But I think some of the bigger things that parents are really struggling with that I hear the most often is this like dichotomy of like still holding on to like the traditional parenting values but also wanting to like give better than what they got, and so there's like war going on, and it usually also is not just within themselves but also within each parent. So like one parent might be more traditional and one parent might like have seen some gentle parenting things and wants to, you know, implement them and they're just butting heads and that's creating so much chaos and confusion in the kids because there's no consistency, and so one might be disrespectful and one parent is going to come down hard and the other one is going to like come in and undermine. Now, I think, is the biggest thing.
Speaker 1:They're just so lost and confused on what the right way is and, honestly, there is no right way, like there is no parenting expert. You are the expert of your own kids and, yeah, we can give you like tools and skills and information, but you know what's best. Like you're the parent, you're the expert. Nobody can come in and say this is the one size fits all, right way to parent.
Speaker 1:And so because of that, I think parents are just generally feeling kind of lost. And do we stick to the old stuff? Are we supposed to be going into the new stuff? Well, the new stuff doesn't work and we're not getting the results that we're looking for and it's just messy in general.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, no, I love what you said and I can relate to that and I, you know, when I talk to parents, I use this illustration with us. I ask them, like okay, how many of you are still dressing your kids or in the same things they were wearing when they were two or three years old, like? And nobody raises their hand, obviously, and I'm like, okay, your kids have grown, they've evolved, right, and that's the same thing that you have to do as a parent. I see a lot of parents and I would love to hear this from your perspective but I see a lot of parents who don't evolve and grow with their kids. It's like their kids are 16, 17, and they're still trying to parent them like they're eight or nine years old. It's like, yeah, they outgrew those clothes and they outgrew that type of parenting style. So you have to grow and evolve with them, and I feel like that's a little bit of what you're kind of alluding to, but I want you to speak to that in your own words as well. Do you see that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, and to be honest. I think, like all those skills and all of the different parenting styles are important, but I think what's more important is healing your own self and healing your own inner child, because you can't approach them and help them and guide them and, you know, discipline them, which really is just nurturing and helping them navigate life.
Speaker 1:You can't do that if you don't know what you're doing yourself Like, if you're lost and confused and a mess in here, how can you expect them to feel strong and secure in who they are, to be able to make good, positive decisions or be able to make good choices for themselves if we're a hot mess going on in here? And yes, we can, we show up and we do the best we can. But this is the most important thing you can do for your kids is showing up as a strong, secure model in life for them, so that they can see it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the most important thing we can do for them.
Speaker 3:You're right. You're right, that's so good, that's so good. So what is it like when you're working with a parent? You're talking to a parent and they have like this epiphany, like, and you're encouraging them to heal that inner child and it's thinking back to different things that they went through as a child, connecting the dots right. What is that moment like, where they're taking it back, where you're taking them back? Is it like I can imagine? It's like a variation of emotions, but it's kind of taking me in that world. What is it like when they're experiencing that?
Speaker 1:It's almost always anger and grief first.
Speaker 3:It's like this.
Speaker 1:Oh, that wasn't the right way for me to have been raised in that moment and it's that moment of like. Oh, I wasn't treated as well as I thought I was.
Speaker 1:And oh, that wasn't best and I thought it was. And that's what I've been imparting on my children and, oh my gosh, I've been, you know, just passing on this generational trauma and not even realizing it. And so almost always, when it comes to the parents who are going back in those ways, it's like this grief and some anger towards, you know, their parent, even though it's really that's just misdirected. They're just angry and hurt that it happened in general, um, but it's. It's usually that grief. It's like that, like, oh, that wasn't okay and I thought it was. So that's that's almost always, like the, the immediate reaction to realizing that that's why they're behaving the way they are in their parenting is because that's how they were raised and how it made them feel and those kinds of things.
Speaker 1:So yeah, it's almost always grief that I see the most often.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, and that's so good, and so I'm not a parent, but I'm thinking about what you just said and I can imagine that, because one of the things I said and I love my parents, they're still married.
Speaker 3:I know they drive each other crazy, you know. But one of the things that I said growing up when I got to the point at like my twenties, thirties I'm 43 now but one of the things that I always said is that I don't want to be like my dad and I love him. I love my dad. He's been there for me, done everything for my brother and I, but I always said I don't want to be like him, I want to be a better father than him. And so when I hear what you're saying, I can understand that grief and that anger, because there were things that happened during my childhood that I was like, that made me disassociate and disconnect from my dad especially. But as I'm hearing you say that, I'm like I'm thinking to myself okay, after we deal with that, what's the next step After the grief and the anger? What's the next step that parents, that you kind of guide parents to?
Speaker 1:that parents, that you kind of guide parents to yeah, so after we're able to identify, like somatically I mean we go really deep into what emotion this is. Where do you feel it in your body, what does it look like Like we get really deep into what that is so then we're able to like pinpoint the memory of exactly when that happened and from there we're able to connect with that version of them where that happened. So let's say you were seven years old. We're going to imagine that seven-year-old Jason that's sitting right next to you and we're going to give him that reparenting and rewrite those messages and talk to him as if he's right there and rewrite those things and help, encourage and heal that so that he can take that and bring it back into himself and move on in regular life with this new reparenting and this new like rewired nervous system and brain circuits, so that we don't have to keep walking around with whatever that mistaken belief was at seven.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you get to walk in with this new, healed, you know, revised version and walk into the world as if that actually happened. So it's a lot of encouraging, it's a lot of rewriting, it's a lot of okay. How would I handle this now as an adult if this was my child and most of it is like I would just hug them, I hear that. So I would just tell them how much I love them.
Speaker 1:Like I would just want to sit with them and show them how, like, what, how precious they are, like that is so much of like what we didn't get growing up is just acknowledged, loved, cared for in ways that I'm sure our parents were doing for us, but in ways that we didn't see or understand at the time, especially in those hard moments, and so in those hard moments, that's what we needed the most. So we're going to give it to them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're going to give it to them in those moments where they needed it, and then we're going to take it with us.
Speaker 3:Yeah Well, chelsea, you are the real deal. I'm serious like that. This is the interview. But I'm like, okay, tell me more. I'm taking mental notes and so what I'm hearing? No-transcript explain it to people. So when you're working with other parents and adults and that light bulb goes off and they get that epiphany and they realize that, okay, this is the way I am right now, like what do you tell them next? Like what is? What do you tell them to do from that point on?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so in a session, after we've gone through like the encouragement and the healing and we've come to like a good place and we do a little processing, I help them understand what their new awareness is. I help them understand what they're accepting about themselves. Because here's this thing about like there's like this light and this darkness, and the lightness is what we want to show the world, and we just hide all the dark. It's shameful, it's bad, it's dirty. We don't want anybody to see our bad, dark, messy stuff, right, and so instead, what we're doing is I'm helping them go through it and pick at it piece by piece and bring it into the light and say it's okay, it's okay that you feel jealous, it's okay that you responded in that way to survive, it's okay that you people pleased in order to stay safe, it just is.
Speaker 1:And so, helping them see from whatever that memory or whatever that moment was, what can we start to accept about ourselves instead of judge or shame ourselves for. And then, what do we want to do with that? What's a small action step that we want to take, moving forward, this minuscule baby step that says now I have all this information and this healing. What do I want to do with it? What's my small thing that I can take into the world now, feeling what do I want to do with it? What's my small thing that I can take into the world now, um, and so they like leave every session with like okay, I have like a plan to yeah, yeah, that's awesome, that is so awesome.
Speaker 3:we need more Chelsea Millers in the world. I'm telling you and I know the parents and the people you work with have to be so grateful for just being like your breath of fresh air and like your perspective and you come from and you're real like you've lived these things Right. So talk a little bit about the when you work with young people and the difference, the differences between working with the parents and then transitioning to work with the young people, the kids, the teenagers, the young adults. Talk a little bit about that experience.
Speaker 1:Absolutely so. I do see teens and kids occasionally, so for them it's less reparenting. There's a little bit of it there, especially with the teens, but for them it's more like okay, how can I show them what their self-worth is? How can I get them to like, be fully in their bodies? How can I get them to understand how to identify their emotions? How do I get them to know, like, who are safe people to share things with and who are not? Like, how can I prevent all of these mistaken beliefs that we all, you know, have experienced?
Speaker 1:How can I prevent that for them and what tools and skills can I give them so that they have a safe place to share hard things? They know how to identify their feelings. They know how to set boundaries. They know, you know, about consent, about their bodies, like there's so many things that we want them to know. And then there are some things we can help them reprocess absolutely, and they're able to do that. But for them, the kids and the younger teens, it's more about what skills can I give them. How can I offer them these safe things and these tools that they may or may not have access to ordinarily?
Speaker 3:Right, yeah, yeah, I love that. So let me ask you this question. I'm nerding out here, so have you ever heard of the word ephebophobia?
Speaker 1:I have not.
Speaker 3:Ephebophobia, it's the fear of teenagers, the fear of young people. So I give talks and I talk to teens about it, young adults and I talk to parents about it. They're surprised when they hear about it. But when I talk to parents about the word epiphophobia and I tell them, like okay, imagine you're walking down the street and you see a group of teenagers, right, the typical response is like okay, to like maybe cross the street or like pull back a little bit. You have this inherent fear and worry about young people and I feel like it also creates this divide and disconnect. Like the older generations, like these young people, they don't oh, they care about the technology and all this stuff and like that, these young whippersnappers, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:It's like back in my day. Back in my day, right, so talk a little bit about that. I know I introduced a word to you, but do you see that also like the inherent fear that adults and even parents have of like their own kids, this age group, and where do you think that stems from?
Speaker 1:Oh, that's a really good question.
Speaker 1:I think it stems from so we've talked a little bit about like inner children, but there's also inner teens and inner teens Our own inner teenagers, are filled with so much anger and angst and rage, and I think that's what turns people off, is they do not remember, they've suppressed all of those feelings so deeply and they are afraid of being mirrored by teenagers.
Speaker 1:Teenagers represent something for them that they have hidden so deeply and I think that's more what they're afraid of. And sure, I'm sure there's things that they're afraid of too, where they're like you know, the world's going to hell in a handbasket, those kinds of things, and it's all their fault because it's always the next generation's fault, um, but I think it's also more this sense of like they trigger and mirror this version of themselves that has so much repressed emotion and experience that they just have not allowed themselves to access or even remotely like entertain, and so I think that's really like. The root of that is like wow, I was so angry at that age and nobody heard me and nobody listened to me and I had no control over myself and all of these like really hard. You know, I wanted to be older than I was and I was capable and I was strong and people held me back and whatever it was that they were experiencing in that time, I think it's just so suppressed and they just. It just triggers it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, well, and that was a great way of like. I know I put you on the spot, but like you were ready, it's like that was amazing how you just broke that down. Like I've been saying you are the real deal, like. So I like I look at you and I've gotten to hear your story that you know listeners have gotten to hear your story. I'm sitting back and I'm looking at like yeah, yeah, I know her, like I'm gonna go out in public and I was like I know chelsea miller. You did like this. This woman is like amazing, there has to like. So when you look at like it's all that you've been through and um, where you are now, like who are some people who played a role in helping you get to this point? Who are some people who played a role in helping you get to this point? Who are some people who like or just like, who smile with pride when they look at what you're doing right now. It's like I'm, I'm amazed, I'm excited, like who are those people who've been instrumental in your journey?
Speaker 1:Oh, that was a great question. Two people immediately come to mind. One is my own therapist. Her name is Christy. She's amazing.
Speaker 1:I've been seeing her for almost nine years now and she, let's see, I was 26. And I was having suicidal ideations and just feeling like all the shame and guilt of you know all of that early 20s in addition to all of you know all of that early twenties in addition to all of you know my childhood stuff. And so I came to her and she really made this huge, significant difference in me and she poured into me and then has also seen me be able to pour into others and so I that is a great relationship that I have and I look up to her so much. And she was this pivotal moment for me of like life doesn't have to be like this, it doesn't have to be this hard, like you can love yourself and you can encourage yourself. And so she was huge for me.
Speaker 1:And then my mentor in the space that I am now with my encouragement, consulting Deb. She's incredible. She's older than I am but she's been doing this for many years. She is a licensed therapist but she's in this same inner child space with Illyrian psychology. That's more brainy stuff for what I do, um, but she is this um, warm, kind, spiritual, like, just encourage, like she just is encouragement, and she has shown me how to take all of this, all of these skills and characters and qualities that I have and have learned, all these experiences, and turn them into how to help others, like like the logistics of it. And so I just admire her so much and all the work she's able to do and the people she's able to help and I've learned how to, you know, expand and grow and be more authentic in who I am and what I'm doing because of her. And so those absolutely top of mind were the top two that came to me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's awesome, and we all need people like that. You know, and just listening to the impact that they've had on your life and your journey, I know they're super proud of you. So, as we wrap up, I have a couple more questions for you, and so the next one is I want to know what is next for Chelsea Miller, what's next for you in this chapter of your life and what are you looking forward to?
Speaker 1:Yes, so in this transition, in this space that I've been in, I am learning more of, I've been diving more into like all of these holistic practices. So last year I spent time digging into I got certified to be through trauma, so like trauma was a big thing of something that I worked through. But now I'm digging more into like um the somatics and the nervous systems and some spirituality stuff and digging into intuition and energy work and um just more of like this spiritual, holistic um space and like how can I incorporate that into what I'm doing as well, so that that is sort of like the direction that I'm heading into. Next is incorporating my own spiritual gifts and intuitions and clairs into what I'm doing. So I'm really, really looking forward to yeah.
Speaker 1:I haven't quite pieced it together, but that's. I'm excited for how it's going to unfold.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and just going based on you have a track record of finding a way to make it work.
Speaker 3:If there's nothing else. If I'm watching a movie of Chelsea Miller, I can see in the movie it looks like she's going to be defeated by the enemy right now. No, she's going to come back swinging. She's going to find a way to make it work. Well, I can see that. Definitely. I know you're going to be super successful. So people who want to connect with you, who want to work with you, who want to find out more about how they can work with Chelsea Miller, like, how can they connect with you? How? Like? How can they connect with you? How can they get in touch with you?
Speaker 1:That's awesome. So I'm on all socials TikTok, Instagram, Facebook under Chelsea Miller Coaching, so you can reach me there. The same is for my email, Chelsea Miller Coaching at Gmail. You can find me on my personal page too. Lots of people do. I've got a free like group page that I put stuff in like every single day of like you know, just funny things or inspirational things, so you can find me there. That's called the Healing Haven. So yeah, but you're welcome to reach out to me on my personal page as well. People do all the time.
Speaker 3:Okay, awesome, all right. So final question All right, I want you to imagine there is a young girl out there who is going through the things that you went through as a child and she happens to stumble upon this podcast and hear you talk and she's identifying with things that you've said, especially things that you went through as a child. What do you want to say to her?
Speaker 1:Oh, so many things. I want to tell you to keep going. I want to tell you that you are way stronger than you think you are and I know that this is hard, but you're doing it and you're doing such a better job at this than you think you are, and that you are literal magic. You are magic and everything you do and everything you touch just lights up and is better in this world because you're here and you exist in it. So keep going and find people that you can trust to share the hard things with, and it's okay to struggle and make mistakes, but just show up and be who you are and just shine your light, because that is the best thing that you can do in this world is just show up and shine your light.
Speaker 3:Chelsea Miller, you're awesome. Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.
Speaker 3:Thank you for listening to the Mic'd Up and Motivated podcast brought to you by Inspired. We appreciate it. So you can reach back and grab them.